Dear recently baggy clothing,
I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. Thank you for keeping me warm and supporting my more than ample body. Thank you for being there for me when I had no idea what I was going to wear - you were all so patient with me when I would put you on in a rush or quickly removed you and threw you on the bed in disgust.
Please know that I was not angry with you. It's not your fault that you did not look that great on me. It's not your fault that I would usually go shopping with my eyes shut, hold you up close to my body and glance quickly in the mirror at the store, buy you without trying you on and keep my fingers crossed that things would work out when we got home.
But lately, i have been worried about you. It seems that you don't want to cling to me as much as you used to. I got so used to that snug feeling we had. I would put you on, and you would slide so nicely next to my skin, supporting me, making me feel as if you loved me. These past few weeks I could feel us growing apart. It started slowly at first, a t-shirt here, a neckline there... and then today? Today my tights started slipping down when I was out for a walk. Yes, I noticed when I put them on that they were a little "baggier" than I am used to. But I thought that perhaps the dryer was up to it's old tricks again. But my underpants have been doing the same thing lately - nearly falling down when I walk.. and I have to confess.. I am loving this.
Does this mean it is over between us? Does this mean I have to go and look for new clothing, perhaps a few sizes smaller, and younger than you guys? I tried for so long to keep things exactly as you all wanted them. I kept you close and sung and warm, but my friends perhaps it is a good time for us to part ways, as I am not so happy with the way you look and even though I thought I would be happy, I am just not. Sorry. That is just the way it is.
I think to make this as painless as possible I am going to sneak into my closet when you are just hanging around, pick you up and take you for a ride. There is this lovely donation box party happening tonight, and your invitation just came via facebook. I have taken the liberty to click "Attending" and it is expecting all of you to show up.
;)
