French Press

I often wonder what monikers people might have for me, and I think I might have stumbled upon one: Mrs. Skunk Coffee. See, I leave a French Press at work, and everyday I bring in fresh beans to make my morning coffee. Well my office is pretty much the Van Houtte special pouch brewed in a crusty glass pot, so strong earthy coffee is definitely not par for the course. (If you’re a Van Houtte, I have nothing against you, I just like my coffee with an obscene amount of grit. ;) Mmmmm.)

Lately it seems that someone will walk into the office, start sniffing, and declare, “Do you smell a skunk?”, or “who sprayed pesticides in here?” Inevitably they’ll end up in my office to point a finger at my delicious coffee. I’m not really sure where skunks or pesticides come into the equation, it’s just strong coffee, but I do wonder if it’s strong enough to become a moniker. Mind you, I don’t think the people that I work with would even know what moniker means – oh is that bitchy? Oh well. Go take your uneducated pallet back to “Timmy's” where I would not be caught dead on a Saturday night.

Thank goodness my two work pals are into my press. If I don’t make it right away they poke their heads into my office, empty mugs in hand with a forlorn look on their faces. It gives me a kind of warm and fuzzy feeling actually.

Any thoughts? Do you think pressed coffee smells like skunks?

I might just take some air freshener in with me, since I think I’d rather be the girl whose office smells like flowers, has great boots, instead of the girl whose office smells like skunks.

In the land of things that don’t smell, I purchased a new pair of boots this weekend, and I’m quite smitten with them.

Fear of Colour

I was busy taking snaps of my new place yesterday - and one theme really hit home with me once I looked at the photos - fear of colour.

Now, when you are a couple you carefully weigh and measure each domestic purchase, consult each other and try your best to comprimise and end up somewhere between what you really wanted and what he really wanted. You end up with some semi-ok furniture, some art that you like/don't like and a whole lot of brown.

My place looks really grown up. And it dosen't suit me anymore. I am in the middle of re-inventing myself and breaking out of that Calgary =housewifey- SUV driving -painting restricted shell that I was in for nearly a decade. I want out so bad that I am kicking and screaming.

Now that it is just little ol' moi, I am wondering what to do and I can hardly contain myself.  I want to chuck out the entire lot and start over. I want a big blue chair and a kelly green sofa, modern table and some humungous and rediculious pillows to throw around. I want to pull out my ugly doll and put him smack in the middle of the room. Forget the ugly doll, I want to wear bright orange lipstick and be brave enough to kiss the one I have a crush on - yes, invite him over and plant a wet one on him while he is sitting on my fabulous sofa. While we are at it I want a new wardrobe as well. Enough of the conservatitve all black get-ups I have been wearing - or rather hiding behind.  I want a new pair of shiny red boots and a white jacket.   A green wolly jumper paird with stripy leggings. (of course I will wear my obscene lipstick - why the hell not!)

I am sick of shopping at the gap - I want to shop at the cool shops of Main and in Yaletown.....Trade in my forks for colourful chopsticks.....be invited for dim sum in Chinatown, not the local mega-mall.

This needs to translate to my office. I need to paint these mud colour walls a flirty light blue or red and then pack away all the useless office tools and fill up a jar with buttons from all the styles we have....ohhhh....yeeeessss.

Body of Work

Here I am @ work on a Cold Monday. And I have decided that today's theme will be slack.
I am going to attempt to do as little as possible today - and do it in the most artful way that I know. It definitely helps that I have an office and am able to shut the door. Here is how it is gonna go down:

After I send out a few "under a tight deadline" obligatory e-mails I will walk around with a few file folders stuffed with random printed emails and assorted blank papers - and visit the 4 people that I actually get along with. I will tell them how busy I am - and how tight my deadline is - and that I will be working in my office with the door shut. I will ask if anybody is doing a Starbucks run - and if they can get me something (I am usually the one who happily goes, so this will plant the "busy" seed in their minds).

I will pour myself a green tea - take it back to my desk...hand write a note in a sharpie- "please knock - under a strict deadline" and place it strategically on my door. This says that I am far to busy with my work to actually type out a note and print it off...and gives off the "wow, Caprice is busy" vibe.

I will close the door, but not completely - leave it open just a smidge. That way people can glance in at me as they ALWAYS seem to do when they walk by - It's not a car crash people, move along - and they will see good old me working as hard as I usually do.

I may even dial "o" and asked fashion victim receptionist if she minds picking me up a sandwich @ lunch because I am too busy to go out.... and I know although she is annoyed with me she will let others know how annoyed she is, but really spreading the rumor of how busy I am today.

What I will really be doing:

. Looking for Technical Writing or Creative writing work.
. Reading. I was lent an amazing book that I practically want to eat...and I can't put it down.
. Shopping for shoes on line (thank goodness ebay is not firewalled)
. Monitoring my facebook via gmail - (firewalled facebook sucks IT. I know you use it!)
. Navel gazing

Why?

Well, after checking out some friends link, and having countless friends that work in the movies, I realize that except for being published in Chatelaine magazine 5 years ago, and editing a community paper, that I have no larger body of work to show for my 15 years of work. Sure there are a few office manuals and personnel files kicking around out there, but really, what have I got to show for my years of work? At least a TV show or a Movie shares with others what you do. All this shit I do is meaningless...I mean really - what I do sometimes feels like a make-work project. Designing more efficient ways to group desks, ensuring employees have a health program in place... organizing the Christmas party nobody really wants to attend.

I am feeling the need to create something tangible. Just need it to pay as well. Maybe that is where I went wrong.

I am going to take today to think about it....excuse me while I just prepare these files - and I have a sign to make.

It's all about control people!

It is all about control.  That is my foregone conclusion upon waking up today.  I mean could you actually imagine doing what you want....to whom you want.... and having them be into it to?  Wow.  Maybe that would make things a lot easier and much more straight fwd.  But no, I have to control myself.  Control how I act, how I feel, etc.  bah.

I had some control, but not enough.  I was in amazingingly good company yesterday.  I did not want to be anywhere else.  It was nice.  Laughing, talkng, drinking...... restraint. (fear of rejection causes the restraint or control part).  Except I drank a little too much for having very little to eat.  

Stupid girl. 

I hate hiding how I feel.  I like how it feels though.    

Now if YOU are reading this - and I imagine you or nobody does - yes, I like you.   What am I going to do with you?

So if I am clumsy, fiddle with my things too much, know it is because I am controling myself.

Now, if you want to lose control, I am fine with that.  You know where I am.

Does your pussy do the Dog?

I am thumbing through old albums tonight - and am reminded of really good concerts from the past.  I hope the cramps go on tour again - last time I saw them was in 1997 at Graceland - where a un known male kept buying me drinks and licking the back of my arms.  Funny the things you remember.

I am also reminded of how my suv got broken into upon my return to Vancouver after a 9 year hiatus in Calgary - and how my cramps Cd's got lifted from the glove box.....and in a nice suburban neighbourhood in N. Van.  Welcome to Vancouver.

When I am having coffee or dancing with friends on  a Friday night I am reminded of why I moved back....when I looked at the real-estate paper and gasp as they are asking $700k for a 600 sq. ft. apartment with a view of 100 other apartments, it makes me wish I never moved back. 

Well, you can't have it all.  I think the thing I miss most is my jet tub in my master ensuite - with separate shower that I had 3 shower heads installed.  Most cold winter nights you could find me in my bathroom either bathing or showering.......  now most rainy winter nights I am out having coffee with friends or at a local pub or bar...... 

I think the social aspects of being back far outweigh the delux bathroom...but ask me again at bathtime later tonight.

replaced

replaced, unloved, forgotten.
bah!

Post Secret - Have you sent one?

Unsure how I feel about this site - but I must admit that every monday afternoon I check it out to see what new post cards have arrvied and what sick puppies most people are.

I am really tempted to send one it.....have you?

something blue.....

brrrrr it was cold today  - but I went out and rode my P150 anyhow.  The sun was unusually deceptive today -and it fooled me into thinking it may be spring. That and the great blue heron that hung out on my back patio this afternoon - a good sign I think.

Met up with some girl friends for coffee - and another friend of mine happened by...so all in all a good day.  I needed a good day.

Thinking about cracking open a good bottle of red and topping off the evening with wine and a semi-ok movie .......and not think about work tomorrow.

Here is too another weekend gone by.

And here is to more sunny days.... (gawd that is corny!).

Grumpy

ok. fine. So I will admit it. My current Vegan diet has made me grumpy. grrrr. Oh and yeah, extra sensitive. So if you tell me in a round about way that I am stupid - or how you like to eat meat and smash cows brains in and think it is funny - I will get upset about it..so don't act all suprised and self-rightious when I do.

It is funny though, I am usually known for my pleasand demeanor, and I have been really pissy most of this week - even angry - and people are really taken aback by it. I mean come on, you don't expect me to be happy all the time do you? Ok, enough with the biotching...I know.

Let's see...happy things...well a friend of mine is coming back from a trip that I can't wait to see...hopefully soon. That is good. Oh, and I am going to a suprise party for a friend who is turing 40 - so that is good too. Oh and it is Saturday tomorrow - so sleeping in is good as well.

Going to leave work, head home and get ready for the par-tay - perhaps a good bottle of red is in order. Perhaps that will rid me of my sallow mood. Hope so!

4:30 friday work rant.

So it is the end of the day and I should be heading home.....but there is too much to do and as usual I am waiting on somebody's artwork before I can get out of here.

Why do people kick it into high gear around 4:30 on a Friday? I mean COME ON! I was here bright and early sunshine....why wern't you? Why do I have to wait until your adreline kicks in for you after your 5th espresso at 3pm and work frantically all afternoon? Why could you not get your shit together like the rest of us and show up on time, with ideas in hand.... oh , right..you were born into this job. Family placed you here. right. yeah. and you have no fucking consept that I would like to leave on time for once on a Friday night so I can get home and get ready to go out and hang out with my friends - do you have any friends other than hangers on who hang off your every word hoping to get a slice of the pie? What? No. Oh, well gues what, some of us do.

Gin and Tonic tonight!

What Is it with some people??

Does anybody else have a crazy person living next to them? Is this the penalty for not have 1 million in the bank and being able to buy a house in the town I grew up in? What ever happened to "go to university, get a good job and you can buy home with a lawn you can mow...yada yada yada."

Making my way home today I get a call from my newish neighbour. This 30 something divorcee would like me to "change my work start time" Whaa? so that I don't wake her up in the morning.

Apparently the sound of the pipes in our building when I have a shower at 5:45 am wake her up - Normand that she has sleep issues and is on meds.... but I can't fucking believe that she had the fucking nerve to call me and ask me to adjust my fucking life so she can sleep.

Spoke to the strata manager who though it was hilarious - thank goodness - and said that this woman has issues - she even approached the strata and asked them to remove the garage door below her suite - because she could not stand the way it sound when somebody left the garage early in the morning. She even had the gall to suggest those who leave for work before her should have to park outside.

Now, call me spoilt, I found a great rooftop town home in ambleside with only 5 other suites in this building, but why did I get crazy woman living next door? or is there always going to be a crazy woman living next door - stupid Vancouver rentals.