It's all about control people!

It is all about control.  That is my foregone conclusion upon waking up today.  I mean could you actually imagine doing what you want....to whom you want.... and having them be into it to?  Wow.  Maybe that would make things a lot easier and much more straight fwd.  But no, I have to control myself.  Control how I act, how I feel, etc.  bah.

I had some control, but not enough.  I was in amazingingly good company yesterday.  I did not want to be anywhere else.  It was nice.  Laughing, talkng, drinking...... restraint. (fear of rejection causes the restraint or control part).  Except I drank a little too much for having very little to eat.  

Stupid girl. 

I hate hiding how I feel.  I like how it feels though.    

Now if YOU are reading this - and I imagine you or nobody does - yes, I like you.   What am I going to do with you?

So if I am clumsy, fiddle with my things too much, know it is because I am controling myself.

Now, if you want to lose control, I am fine with that.  You know where I am.