Eat those feelings lady.

What a week and it is only Wednesday.

I am trying to look at things differently. I am trying to move forward each and every day, and not base the day's expectations on the previous days experiences. That is I am setting out daily and not expecting anything. Nothing from nobody. Even if I am told something is going to happen, or somebody will call / meet up, things will happen... etc. I am being casual and open to everything.

You see, one of my flaws is that I am a huge planner. And sometimes not in the good way. Well, actually sometimes in a good way, the way employers or friends that ask you to go and do things for them kinda way. I'm the one to call if I am slipping across the boarder and you need me to pick up those shoes you can't get in Campbell River, or that micro brew that is only sold in Seattle....I usually will say "OK" and then plan my return trip around the task, putting my desire to get home quickly and sleep on hold. Sigh.

The way I usually think or pre-think of things, or situations, or anything is to plan what I am going to wear, what I am going to do or say, where I am going to go, and as much as predict the outcome of said outing.

Did you read that? PREDICT THE OUTCOME. Really. Apparently the old me thought that i could control situations / people, etc....

Usually what would happen is that things did not go the way I planned or wanted them to go, and then I would get this crushing feeling of overwhelming disappointment. The type of disappointment that would make me open the refrigerator 6 or l7 times and stare into it blankly and pull out whatever was in there and eat it. Eat it for god's sake.

Now really. As if that left over piece of chicken or that bowl of cheerios at 11pm is really going to solve any crappy feelings. As if!

Ok, this is me dishing out what makes me tick. Well what used to.

After one last time of things going completely pear shaped, after the predicted outcome was supposed to be fan fucking tastic I made a decision. A really big one.
I no longer try to envision what is going to happen when I go out that front door.

Yes, I know where I am headed (usually!) and I know who I am meeting up with and I know that I won't go out of my way for anybody these days. But what I don't know is what will happen. What ever happens from that point on is clearly up to the situation, and is a gift.

If the weekend is lame, so be it. Let it be lame. It will only let me appreciate the better ones when they are happening.

This, for a Virgo is a HUGE thing. HUGE! So far so good!
Oh, and I no longer need that late night chicken, or nachos, or anything. I just need to rip apart the house and start re-decorating which is a much better use of my time.

PS - Viva espana!